(I only planned to write the first three paragraphs,
but couldn't stop writing after that question appeared)

I never used the word hate back in secondary school. I was never that easily annoyed. I wasn't being myself for trying to be forgiving and well-tempered in the past. No wait, I didn't even have to TRY to be that way. I wasn't that angsty either (or was I?)

As you grow older, you'll come to realise that there isn't a clear-cut way to anything. You start to get confused about how importance should be placed on yourself or on others. You start to ponder about the correct way to treat others and yourself, because there isn't a win-win situation all the time.

You start to think about how things happen because its your fault or the other party's (or how both are at fault) (or how both might not be at fault at all, its just a misunderstanding) (or how you're just thinking too much, the other party doesn't even know anything is happening) .. the list goes on. The possibilities to everything, they drive you crazy.

But it all boils down to one question: _____________.



If you're able to get an answer, chances are that life's looking good for you. I think its about what you want in life. I want to be a person who can love and be loved. All the things we do revolve around the word doesn't it? From your family to your friends to yourself (and your interests, goals, etc.).


The question is, why then, do we hate? If we live to love, how did that feeling of hate come about? Einstein said there is darkness because of the absence of light. Do we hate due to the absence of love, or are there other answers to it?

We hate people because they put us in a situation that makes us unhappy/uncomfortable/lonely/dejected (all the negative feelings). Some hate people for no reason just because they don't like what they see. We hate things because the time could have been spent on doing something we love. We hate because that something/someone does not make us happy?


I once read that we live for happiness, but I was thinking how happiness is just a feeling and isn't one that is strong enough to be a "rule we live by". Happiness can turn into a negative feeling if we are shown another side of a situation. Its shortlived. I'm not very good at explaining and I'm frustrated because I can't express myself properly.



Do we love, and are we loved?
Should we love (a person, specifically), and should we be loved?

I realized that putting 'love' into context makes things confusing. Our love for people, things and interests (etc.) can be so mixed up. Sometimes we love a person because they love what we love, sometimes we love something because the person we love loves it, sometimes we love a person because ... we just love them?

There's also a big difference if you put the word "should" in.

then the burning questions come in:
WHO REALLY LOVES US, AND FOR WHAT? Are we worthy?
WHAT IF? What if we love one and she/he doesn't love us?


So far, the ONLY kind of unconditional love I can feel is the one my mom has for me. I didn't see it previously, but now I do. I don't think I can find anybody who'll love ME as much.

(its different from loving you for who you are, because we're constantly changing. Would the person who loves us for who we are NOW still love us if we were to change?)



When will we really know the answers? Never.

How on earth did my post turn from "hate" to "love"?
and damn, EVERYTHING ON EARTH IS INTERLINKED.